fighting, sulking, avoiding each other? Are you having disagreements
about sex, money, housework, having children, raising children, moving,
changing jobs? Are you feeling lonely, unloved, rejected, put down,
bullied, or henpecked? Are you bored? Are you under pressure from family,
health, work, or financial issues? Are you struggling to cope with a
major life challenge involving children, illness, job loss, legal action,
retirement, or something else? Are you stressed out and “taking
it out” on each other instead of constructively and collaboratively
dealing with your challenge?
It Takes Two to Tango
I can teach you how to influence your partner via effective
negotiation, communication, assertiveness, and conflict resolution skills.
I will teach you how to create rituals and develop activities to cultivate
affection, warmth, fun, sensuality, intimacy in your relationship.
I will show you how to develop insight into the differences between
you and your partner, and how they have arisen as a result of your different
I can show you how to stop acting in ways that make your relationship
I can show you how to clarify and act on your values and to be more
like the partner you ideally want to be.
I can teach you how to accept what is out of your control in your relationship.
I can show you how to effectively handle the painful feelings and stressful
thoughts that inevitably occur in every relationship.
You are Both Hurting
Your partner may not reveal his pain to you; he may just get angry or
storm out of the house, or quietly switch on the TV and start drinking,
but deep inside he hurts just like you. Your partner may refuse to talk
to you, she may criticize you in scathing tones, or go out on the town
with her friends, but deep inside, she hurts just like you. It is so
important to recognize and remember this. We tend to get so caught up
in our own suffering that we can easily forget our partner is in the
Everyone’s a Control Freak
Wouldn’t it be great if your partner would do what you want? If
he could only read your mind, know what you wanted, and act as you wished,
life would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? I like to ask my clients,
“If I had a magic wand here, and I could wave it over your partner
to magically transform him, what would you want to change? There is
never a shortage of answers to this question.
The truth is we’re all control freaks at heart; we all like to
get what we want. With each generation, our minds become more and more
sophisticated, and our societies became more and more advanced- until
we are where we are today. We now have computers, spaceships, refrigerators,
cell phones, televisions, air-conditioning, cars, planes, heart transplants,
and microwave ovens. Our incredible capacity to shape and transform
our environment has created a powerful illusion of control. So much
so that in this day and age, we not only have a strong drive to get
what we want, we also have the expectation that we should receive it.
I will help each of you see how each are trying to control the other
which is resulting in conflict in your relationship. I can show you
how to instead of try to control your partner, learn how to work with
your partner as they are, the person you fell in love with.